Kristi Winger's "Things I Love About You"

I liked this piece. The words that she uses serve to bring an image to the poem. I can actually see the happiness in their faces. It's so simple that it works. I feel that all of the details contribute greatly to the image that is developed in the readers mind. The subject matter is cute. I think it would make any reader (or maybe just the girls) happy just by reading it,

Mark Mycroft's "Dreams"

I really enjoyed this piece. It seemed very simple but very complex all at the same time. I did get confused through a lot of it, but that's also the way that dreams work. They are complex and confusing. I thought that the first, third and last stanzas worked well together as the second and the third just seemed to add such confusion. I also had no idea what the last line meant.

Latisa's "The Moment"

Latisa's poem is very beautiful. I like it a lot it. It was very simple and pretty. I like the short lines, it adds to the simple complexity of the subject of the poem. I like the subject as well. It is something most people our age think about. I didn't think that the jumbled up long sentences matched with the rest of the poem, but that is really my only complaint.

Anthony S.'s "Life and Death"

I think this poem is something that everyone can relate to. Everyone has that one test that they are sure they will fail because they didn't have time to study or forgot or something. The travel to that test really seems like it could go that way. I could see Anthony walking from home to his class passing by all of these places and the thoughts just running through his head. I think this poem was amazing. It wasn't all sappy or serious like some people think poetry has to be. It was light and fluffy with a little bit of funny added in to it.
I didn't quite like the ending though. I thought that it was far too much abrupt. I wanted more of his inner dialogue. I wanted to know what happened. I wanted to know what was going to happen. But I guess that is just a good poem, one that leaves you wanting more.

The Undertaker

This reading was beautiful, not like in the butterflies and pansys way, but still beautiful. I enjoyed how the story started off so coldly and ended so much more personal. My favorite part is right in the middle where things are still just a little cold, but a little personal too. I think the drawing on one's knowledge matched with one's own life experiences is an amazing use of a piece of paper.

Jen Morris' "Shit Brown Chevy Van"

This piece was very interesting. I enjoyed the use of language and the spacing of the piece. I also enjoyed the story behind the piece. I enjoyed how it caught your eye right off by telling you everything about the guy but not telling us who they were. I kept reading to find out every piece about the dark lonely man as I could. The only thing that I would change is where it says "My Dead Uncle's Chevy Van." I would put more emphasis on this by adding spacing around the sentence. It just looks really odd with previous sentences about the van having so much spacing.

Bird By Bird "Dialogue"

This reading was exceptionally helpful when one starts to think about writing narrative. Bad dialogue ruins everything. It's the thing that makes me read the spark notes instead of the story itself. The only way that I think bad dialogue can be truly and completely avoided is by not using it at all. Aside from that the only other thing is to read it aloud over and over again until you figure out what is just not working. Most of the time I start by taking out one thing at a time until I have no dialogue left. But sometimes it's just one word that throws the whole thing off.

Bird By Bird "School Lunches"

I thought this reading in Bird By Bird was both very funny and helpful. School lunches remind me of so much of child hood. There really is so much there. Did your mom make your lunch or did your dad, did you? Did you bring lunch money to buy a greasy slice of pizza and fries? Did you have free lunch and type your id number in quickly from shame? I think the same rule applies to other things, like remembering way back to recess and PE class, there are such a plethora of great ideas there.

Jamie's "Dear Jamie"

This poem was very circular and kind of funny, but sad all at the same time. I think the poem is so simple that it just works. The poem's Jamie says what's in her head to the reader but she reads (?) what Phil wants from their relationship. It becomes quite repetitive, which really works because it shows that she wants the exact opposite of him. This poem is very beautiful and I like how it begins with Jamie and it ends with Phil.

T. Jarrel McLeod "Rehab: A Love Story"

This poem is one of my favorites so far. I love the fact that he can write about something with such feeling. This really makes me realize what it could really be like for some people to stop doing something that they are addicted to. The person in this poem is so strong and proud. On a word level this poem works because it uses several phrases known for addictions like "cold turkey" or "hooked." Also the person in the poem doesn't sit there and say "hey i'm bigger than this." There is a little bit of frustration involved in it.
The things that don't work for this poem is the absolute lack of punctuation. The poem might work a little better if there were some punctuation.

Sean K's "In Your Eyes"

This poem was a little out there. I really liked some of the words that were used. I'm not so sure if in the beginning of the poem there was anything other than the description happening or not, but it was still pretty. My favorite line of the poem was "Stories chiseled into fireworks of a glass marble." I could just see the crazy mix of colors in the the glass ball.

Some of the things that I think would improve this poem, consist mainly of grammatical things. I think a little more punctuation would benefit the reader. Another thing is that maybe the writer could add a little more direction. I got lost most of the time, which I think was alright for this poem, but some readers might need a little bit more. Other than that, this poem was quite great.

Ditoria Geddis' "Looking Back"

Ditoria's piece was one that made me feel sad. I think this is one of those poems that can help a lot of people out. There are people who could Identify with this type of experience and feel maybe even better if they knew someone else knew something like this. This piece works because it has many great word choices to set the correct mood.
There is a thing that doesn't really work for me in this piece. The thing that bugs me the most about this piece is there is no puctuation. Another thing that could maybe change is if the author used only lowercase letters. This would represent the way that the person feels at the time.

"Ahh" by Valestine Harrison

I love this piece. "Ahh" is very refreshing and silly, and nostalgic. At first I was not sure what was going on. It felt like a bunch of random thoughts put together, and then I saw a story there. There was something that just made me stay interested. It was most likely the fact that it reminds me of my childhood. I'm sure that this poem will have the same affect on the other readers. I think this poem works on the word level because it doesn't go above anyone's head. It is more like a thought process or memory than a poem.

Sheila Garlow's "Bringing Sexy Back"

This poem was very refreshing. It was very basic, but also very well written. What I think works about this poem is the kind of stream of consciousness writing. This is very down to earth and very human. On the level of words I think bringing some of the pop culture icons into the story worked very well. It's like "My sister the J.T. Lake." I also enjoyed the way the poem is structured. It doesn't conform to the basic way a poem should be structured.
What could be changed in this poem is basically little nit- picky things. I am a fan of: the author knows best. In this poem I would try to watch my punctuation more. I also am not sure whether it is supposed to be " the poo- brown suit that grandma brought" or "bought." Another thing is that some of the lines don't really match with the poem structurally, which may be what the author is looking for, or may not be. They might want to look at narrowing down some of the longer thoughts.

Adam Deal's "just a moment of realization"

I enjoyed reading this writing because it was a little odd. I had to read it several times before I even got a grasp of exactly what was supposed to be going on. It was kind of like hearing the joke with everyone else and getting it a couple of days later when you're going to bed.
Things that worked for this writing were the language. The usage of everyday words in a non- everyday (?- is that a word) since just seem to work for this piece. Things that didn't work for this work were a little more in my mind. I'm not so sure if I just missed the punchline or there was no punchline. I think I get the most lost in the dialouge, Who is speaking when? What's going on? I'm sure some people can read this and understand it, but for me it was like a puzzle.

Erin Curley's "Bananas"

This poem is a very simple poem. It also describes a very simple thing. Eating bananas and peanut butter with someone you care about. It also has very descriptive yet open wording. It could be any coffee pot, but it is definitely a certain, rose embossed butter knife. I really think this poem works, just because it is such a simple thing that anyone can imagine. There is simple wording to match the simple structure and simple subject. I also liked the fact that "she" spoke. It adds just a little more of a friendly feel to the poem.
The main things that I didn't think really worked about this poem were small. I think that the dialoge should have been spaced from the main body of the poem. This would allow more emphasis, and maybe even help the reader to understand the poem a little better. Other than that I'm not quite sure what else this poem is lacking.

Christina Cottros' "The Fishing Trip"

This was, yet another bitter-sweet story. I think it was enjoyable to read because it was kind of sing songy in the good way. The story follows a definite path and doesn't get me lost at any point. It also works because we hear this story all of the time. Well not the exact story. One loves someone and they go away and the person they love dies. It something that appeals to everyone's heart. They can imagine if that were to happen to them or when that happened to them.
Some of the reasons that this poem doesn't work is the variation in the lines. The lines go from long to short erratically, this messes around with the stability of the poem. This poem knows where it's going it just lacks the confidence in it's lines. Many times I think if instead of a comma there were a return, it would work much better. Other than that I like how the poem works.

Terronique Brown's "She Hangs" and "Warped..."

First off, I was unable to tell whether these were two different poems or just one poem, so for this entry I will treat them as two different and comment on each. "She Hangs" has a lot of beautiful wording that makes the action of hanging so much less boring. Also I like where it talks about the internal temptation to pluck her and getting rid of her. I couldn't really tell what her was supposed to be, but either way I loved this poem. "Warped..." also used a lot of beautiful wording, this wording made me feel warped while reading it. I really like the sentence "I'm screaming 'til I'm black and blue." This has such a definite image, and I think this poem could actually use a little more of that. I also enjoyed the repetition of this poem, it was very called for to add just a little stability to the poem.
"Warped..." was a poem that I had such a hard time following. It was very fast paced and chaotic. So in a since the poem works because of this. But really what is a poem if the reader can't follow it? I'm not really sure how this poem could become less chaotic, maybe if there were breaks in the poem's lines things would be just a little easier to digest.

Tyler Bailey's "Perdition"

To start off I will go ahead and say that this was not at all my type of poem, but I still enjoyed it. I enjoyed reading this poem for many reasons. It was kind of a dark, slightly depressing poem, but it still worked. The poem has a theme that everyone can identify with, loving and loosing. The story is told well, and I don't think that I got lost at any point in the story. He also uses some great descriptions, these enhance the story and help me to imagine it. Another thing I liked was the way that the structure of the lines, from long to short added to the poem.
There are also several things that I think could make this poem better. I really believe that the wording in this poem is outdated and a little fake sounding. It doesn't seem natural. I think if the poem had more modern day or even just normal speech it would work. For example in line 6 when it says countenance, it just seems like it's trying to go above the readers head. I'm sure many people know what the word means but it just seems like the word appearance or looked would have worked just as well. Another thing that just doesn't work for me about this poem is the way the lines seem so cluttered. If the lines were cleaned up a little I think that the poem would work much better.